tissue.useful

moved....

2008-02-10T02:19:00.000+08:00

ive moved ppl....

WHOOMP!SHAKALAKALAKA!WHOOMP!

www.mascal-muscal.blogspot.com

after prom party!

2007-10-25T19:40:00.000+08:00

alright ppl...the point is. i need replies by end of this week.sunday!!!..in order to book the club...and i need actually atleast 100 ppl!!!!!!

so reply me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!confirm not!!!!!!once confirmed no backin out...even if u back out...u have to pay!!!!!wahahah....because the point is i need to pay the club....sho!!!!!if u dun pay....i wont have a thousand dollars from the sky....

sho call call ppl...graduates...anythin...

for ppl who are afraid they dunno how to go there...if i can get a hundred...i dun mind sponsorin a bus to bring ppl there frm the prom site...

well....

reply!!!!!

the faster the better....most prob if it clears...it'll be at club bianco.....tanjong pagar area....whole second floor is ours!!!!!sho quick...

ppl like jiayong...faster!!!and liyan too!!!!!!dun worry....no fights no nothin...jus party!!!

nothin

2007-09-24T19:24:00.000+08:00

im irritatated.....annoyed..disgusted and angry....one wrong step..pop!!!!!wahahhaha

at the same time....

poo has been showin me more love...after the other day...

well im kinda of the greedy person.....look at my belly dancin...

sho!!!!

i hope it would increase....wahhahaha!!!!up up up....ah sharks....love....bliss and ahem...u noe la..

POO

2007-09-13T16:52:00.000+08:00

Poo's been feeling upset and stressed that's why he will think about such stuff.
will when anyone's stressed everything turns negative!

and i LOVE YOU!
not enough meh [x

SO GREEDY! (((((((((((((:
smiles.
ok lah. jiayou POO FOR O'S! :D
and for those who tagged, thanks for tagging!
i'm sure poo appreciates it (:

*psst, today our fifth month! whee! gonna cook for poo tml.. wonder whether it'd be edible or not -_-*

me

2007-09-05T16:12:00.000+08:00

often do i look at myself and wonder. Am i tat horrible a person.. tat horrible a person tat ppl would want to avoid?

tat horrible a person ppl hate the sight of me.

am i tat horrible and disliked to a point where i become invincible?tat ppl ask each other.whether the other wants to tag along?right infront of me across my face.but not me?

am i tat a person tat doesnt deserve a friend?do i have any?or am i included cause i always have been?

am i tat horrible?am i such a person?wat?wat kind of person am i?who?who am i?

am i such a dislikeable person???

woof

2007-08-17T19:57:00.000+08:00

played.toyed.vengeance.sore.pale.dead.vomit.played.

useless.

:P the lovely gf strikes again

2007-08-11T18:41:00.000+08:00

hehe
SO my MONKEYBOY wanted like a change from chi chai monchan? ):
I thought the pink monkey was like the cutest thing evaaaaaaa ))))))))))))):

hehe.
Ok right now my monkeyboy's like pigging out (ie sleepingzzzzzzzzzzzzzz)
So idiot lah!
Rarr.
Later at night cannot sleep early again *arbish*
His sleeping routine is like DAMN SCREWED UP i tell you
But nvm lah!

I will still sleep normally -_-
he's an asshole and he agreed (i called and he just went "unh" to everything i said :D)

wheeeeeeee! i lub me monkey!
4th month on mon! hehe! hugs poo tight! ilu!

(((((((((((((((((((((:
your extremely cute pretty gorgeous smart intelligent gf

birthday...good one..smiles.:]]

2007-08-01T22:17:00.000+08:00

oh well...yes yes...my birthday today..yes yes...1st august...yes yes...tats why my name augustine....

oh well....birthdays have passed by me all my life...but the were jus birthdays...

never once was there any loved ones who celebrated it fer me...never once i felt this way..

never once a HAPPY BIRTHDAY...

but today..my 17th birthday...was everything i could ask fer..

it let me realised tat im loved and cared about...

it let me realise im not as bad as a jock i used to be...

----

midnight...messages came in till bout 3...boy was i irritated by my gatsby song...but...its like the first time sho many ppl messaged...and wished me..it maybe well wishes to ppl out there..but it was a passing i would never forget...didnt have enough slp but it kept me smilin even though i was late in the mornin to meet poo..couldnt wake....

poo smiled froma distance...passin her i was greeted with a warm tight hug infront of sho many ppl...instead of feelin sheesh..blushes...i smiled...never once poo actually dared to hug me like tat infront of sho many school ppl in uniform...well...it meant the world...a warm hug in the mornin would bring anyone a smile...but fer me it was :]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]

while i was gonna board the bus.still smilin frm the nice lovely hug.....ellisa and gang shouted...happy birthday aug infront of everyone in the interchange...i smiled....like a retard..in embarrasment thanked em and went up...ppl i knew in the bus came and wished me...:]]]]

went to school...oi birthday boy datang oi...hahah....

recess...ran and slipped!wahahaha..infront of sho sho many ppl in the canteen...sheesh kebab...

went up...poo meant it to be a surprise placin a cute pink gay box on my chair...but chang rui told me...sho didnt seem to be a surprise surprise...i saw it i jus went..haiyo that girl ah...

i opened it up....i saw letters...a stack of em....and flashes of bryan givin excuses and poo's bag filled with em and sayin they were fer her frens...i felt like tearin..nver once someone did this fer me..letters...frm people i was closed to...and ppl who i never expected to receive frm...my mother..which i dunno how poo got her to write it..and carryl...hmmm...

read one by one...kissed helmi...ahhaha..and others...

rehearsal..

poo was fluin sho badly she could have finish 20 packets of tissue i swear...i told her ill send her back dun need to go eat le...wanted her to rest she would use to say ok...but she went...i wont miss it fer the world....awwwww....i felt bad...

cabbed to jacks place had a hearty meal and a good time with poo lookin at her tryin to grab the escargots was a blast..but she was blowin her nose like the whole time..teary sick eyes and a pink nose....sigh...i love u!

went to get sudoku and croos word puzzles fer poo to destress...

piled together with horrible actin and a lousy exchange of cover ups blew a surprise....if u guys actually kept mumm...i would be clueless..hahaha!!!!!!!!!!lousy actors....

as i was sayin...lousy actin led me to 170...with aizat and ghazali runnin past us...totally blew it...and poo with super bad actin and excuses added in...well spotted em and they bought me a cake...was touched..poo had me change into a spongebob shirt-.-

spinned me 17 timesblindfolded...boy i cant spin one..3 rounds and ill be on the floor...

well...they sang me a birthday song...first time in my life it meant somethin special...close ones and my loved one....ard me...i jus continue to act as if i was giddy and kept wipin my face.but in fact i almost teared...

i was touched..touched tat everyone came out of their own way to do such a thing fer me....

thanks ppl...i love u all...i love u espscially poo..fer puttin all this together....

thank u yi ying fer everythin you've done and ur effort put in...it is the first time someone actually did somethin fer me...hugs....

the letters.(not all in u say).the presents...all frm ur heart...the thought...poo im fallin in love with u again and again...lets work hard now fer the prelims and o's....brother sheeps too!andsisterlurps.

first time in my life i felt all these emotions..this love...

my 17th birthday..the best one...a memory tat would stay planted in me...

i love u guys...i love u girl...

-----------------

goin out of ur shell and ur social social circle has thought me never to judge a book by its cover...this past 2 years...ive made valuable frens..and ive learnt how to be a good one and not to be a idiot..

to everyone who wished me...it was nice u guys even remembered and actually to wish me.didnt really get all this when i was a ass hole.i hope im not now still....

love u all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!kisses to all u ppl!

-------------

poo...u've made my birthday a special one...im no good with words u should noe tat..i dunno how to say...but...youve been e best gf i could ever wish fer...except fer the grumpy snappy side..which i know u can curb...hopefully after the o's heee...but really...uve been great..my joy...my smile..

youve done more than u think uve ever done and have done...

i love u..

i dunno how to thank u enough..but i wanna thank u fer doing all this...thank u fer bein with me to spend my birthday together...and to be a part of me...and my life..

i appreciate every lil thing..now poo with tat sick face u pulled the whole day...i felt useless cause i couldnt do anythin to make u feel better..and u still wanted to spend my birthday with me instead of restin...i cannot love u more la!!!!and it showed me u love me too!!!!!!!!!!!

muacks!!!!!!!!!

poo...please get well...drink plenty of water and pee everythin out.....flush it all out...its my turn to take care off u....im kinda like worryin now...cause u really looked sick but u still tried to smile and all...aww...poo....sigh....

thank u!!!!!!!!!

i miss u...

cheers ppl...brothersheep..sisterlurps and poo!!!!!!!!!!thank u all!!!!!!!muack muack muack!

2007-07-29T21:49:00.000+08:00

well....enjoyed my day yest....really did..it was a day spent with poo.

fallin real ill...

sniffs..

tummy churnin been visitin the toilet like anythin.

2007-07-21T23:39:00.000+08:00

well...i jus got back frm timah befer tat town....been feelin really crapped up and cranky lately..super...think poo noticed tat first...

well shall spare the very aggitated and irritated moments i had today...

well went to look fer shoes alone....in town..banged unto this pai kia...than stared..than his ppl came down.ask me where i chap..jus said paiseh..i didnt see..never chap..followed by searchin pacific plaza and shaw fer my shoes...well..couldnt find any.....

took out my fone and realised the batt flat.than suppose to meet ben they all at timah..but how to call..felt helpless.but mood was out already..sho ididnt care...jus went down....and befer tat i called poo and i didnt sound very happy...kinda aggitated...sho....i thought she would be worried cause if she called to check but cannot reach me...sho the first thing i reached home plugged the charger...and called poo to ask if she called and to tell her im safe back home...but she was ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ...

sleepin-.-

sigh....

well the day i went through...and the places i got stuck in between on the left kisses..on the right hugs...

and we argued yest.....

i missed u todae...really badly....and i wished sho bad u could be by my side...and not alone...well...

poo..i miss u.

good nights everyone!

oh ya...tell me ya...where else to get PONY shoes...ppl...cause the shop in far east closed down..the one in heeren doesnt have size...sheesh...help me out ppl...

2007-07-21T14:56:00.000+08:00

i love u ms chen yi ying...

no more arguin!!!!!!!!!sheesh kebab...

lets give in to each other sometimes and understand tat both of us have our crannky periods and jus be there fer one another...alright!hooks lil finger with ur dunno wat stamp thing la..wahhaha....

well still brought back by our memories and past moments in the lil walk we had...will piggyback u more often..ya=]]]]]

well...jus did vectors and sheesh kebab i kinda dunno how to do alot..ok la...not alot la..but some things i still dunno..

well...if u guys have noticed...yes...im shrinkin and turnin flabby...shall go run and gym tommorow..wheew...yes im gettin lazy.....dnt and all urgh!

well poo....ill be here through it all...with u....

i love u my dear!!!!!!!!!!!!

oh yes ppl....

i wonder wat the month after this is....hmmmm....

llalalala...

well...since the other time poo mentioned to me tat i should try to make friends with hers....

ive been..and ya...been tryin..made a few...but some jus are still scared of me...lil uh..im like the nicest guy ever la...even poo said it..(ahem...ur letter)so..no denyin...

try go out eat...go back together with her frens and jokin and teasin..made me a few new frens...well..liang ying....glad to have known u better...and u dun have to keep huggin her and stickin ur tongue out behind her when u do...cause SHES MINE!!!!WAHAHAHAHAHAHAA*sticks mine out*

well cute bunch of frens poo has...but ya..!!!!!!!!!!!!!made a few punched a few..hmmm

ladies and gentlemen!!!!

singapore vs china!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

5 na vs 4 ex!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

round one!!!!!

fight!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

well...part of me hasnt let it go yet...but i had to...cause of poo...

well...see...1 plus week till i have to quit smokin too...hmmm...

hugs poo..sheesh im startin to talk as spastically as she does=/

*****boy..tsktsk..express and NA

2007-07-16T21:27:00.000+08:00

PREJUDICE!

2007-07-08T22:43:00.000+08:00

The idiotic BoonKheong asked me to update his blog.
I still think the pink monkey resembles him lah! Hehe.
(((((((((:
Rarr.

BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH
-____________________________________-

I LOVE PINK I LOVE PINK
And I think Megan Fox is damn hot
And I think my girlfriend is hot too.

And idiotic spammers are disgusting.
WAY TO GO

HAHAHAHHAH talks with pooooooooooooooo ((((((((((((((:

sheesh

2007-06-30T23:32:00.000+08:00

well...read poo's blog...

u dun have to tell me anythin..but ill be here if u ever need me..well...maybe jus to cry..if i can help i will...jus tell me..

well...bryan too...im here if u need to talk to me bout anythin ya..

ppl ppl//

sheesh!!!!kebab!!!

2007-06-29T21:58:00.000+08:00

sho much fer trustin my dearest gf with my password....msg and said tat she'll make my day when i see my blog...

pop!!!

chi chai monchan or somethin....wah power la!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

than change the profile............

lagi power la!!!!!!!!!!!!

but i appreciated tat she did this though to cheer me up...(i hope...it better not be u jus pokin fun tat my ears are cute)

welll....i declared my love fer u how many times...ok...i shall shout from my class to the canteen k...I LOVE U CHEN YI YING!!!!wahahah....

want me to blog proper........change my skin la!!!!!!!!!!!!!chi chai monchan!

For poo.

2007-06-28T22:01:00.000+08:00

How did I get here I turned around
And there you were
I didn't think twice or rationalize
Cuz somehow I knew
That there was more than just chemistry
I mean I knew you were kind of into me
But I figured it's too good to be true
I said pinch me where's the catch this time
Can't find a single cloud in the sky
Help me before I get used to this guy

They say that good things take time
But really great things happen in the blink of an eye
Thought the chances to meet somebody like you were a million to one
I can't believe it
You're one in a million
All this time I was looking for love
Trying to make things work
They weren't good enough
Til I thought I'm through
Said I'm done
Then stumbled into the arms on the one
You're making me laugh about the silliest stuff
Say that I'm your diamond in the rough
When I'm mad at you
You come with your velvet touch
Can't believe that I'm so lucky
I have never felt so happy

Every time I see that sparkle in your eyes

They say that good things take time
But really great things happen in the blink of an eye
Thought the chances to meet somebody like you were a million to one
I can't believe it
You're one in a million
All this time I was looking for love
Trying to make things work
They weren't good enough
Til I thought I'm through
Said I'm done
Then stumbled into the arms on the one

I said pinch me
Where's the catch this time
Can't find a single cloud in the sky
Help me before I get used to this guy

They say that good things take time
But really great things happen in the blink of an eye
Thought the chances to meet somebody like you were a million to one
I can't believe it
They say that good things take time
But really great things happen in the blink of an eye
Thought the chances to meet somebody like you were a million to one
I can't believe it
You're one in a million
One in a million
You're one in a million

FROM you loveliest girlf.
Better be crying or something.
Hehe. No lah.
*warm appreciative hugs*
My one in a million boyfriend!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
((((((((((((((((:

(fyi this is a song from the lead actress of hannah montana, like from disney channel?? SO STOP DEGRADING ME LAH OK! DISNEY CHANNEL = GOOD SHOWS + GOOD SONGS KAY. Not childish! LOL)

Ok I've professed my undying love for my boyfriend, I think it's his turn to do so lah! (:
And anw I REALLY LIKE THIS NEW BLOGSKIN HAHHAHAHAHAAAAA ;DDDD

Here to update my MONKEYBOY's blog! (:

2007-06-28T21:44:00.001+08:00

Ok I got the perfect blogskin for my MONKEYBOY!

*dances around triumphantly*
*in circles*
*evil smiles*
*smiles demurely*

> :DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

:PPPPP

sweets.

2007-06-27T19:40:00.000+08:00

tough times...home..sch...family..HEALTH...bank...

wasnt able to go fer my eyes appointment today...didnt have enough money to pay..well..its gettin cloudy again..was hard to explain to ms ngiam why i appeared in school although i told her i had an appointment.

stressed...i dunno wat im gonna do...so many other appointments next week...

i dunno wat im gonna do or how im gonna do it...i cant support myself anymore...

get a job?

but the exams?

stressed... tough times..puttin on my mask again...

thanks girl....read ur blog...meant alot..hugs=)

im back!!!

2007-06-18T22:14:00.000+08:00

bowl champs!

poo!im back..hugs!loves chen yi ying la..!!!!!

hugs loves kisses and misses!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

better wear the pants fer me to see atleast!urgh...

cute la...was super huggy and kissy and all today...hahaha...hugs tight!

got donuts...hope u guys liked em,.

loves in the air i say!

2007-06-13T23:53:00.000+08:00

yipee yipee yay yay...2 months flew past...happy shalala...i found myself lovin u more chen yiying!heee...MARVELOUS THINGS...heee...winks...

2 months..learned to understand each other better..compromisin...

studies...important!jia you!!!

i love u HB...poo...hehe...same same la...loves loves loves loves loves..we'll make up fer this few months aftr o's..now...mr seah has to pick up his study pants...

ill always be here fer u when u need me..i love u=))))))))))))))

-----

sentosa...helmi's birthday celebration...bryan's back...!cake flew all over the place...

no need fer further explanations and details..haha...

i missed u there..hugs tight...

happy birthday again brothersheep!!!

wat a bodoh..
----

eye infection...kinda like half blind in the left eye now..got referred to SGH...blah blah..

poo was sweet comin down to the hospital with me..i love u!!thanks poo...kisses cheek..

---

she was exceptionally huggy kissy todae...and as usual cheeky...

smilin and laughin and all..i missed tat...

i prefer u like tat..im sure everyone else does too!

---

ppl..have u ever tried rou baos befer..

theres this MARVELOUS ass bao place at batok..went down with poo...

superman and rou baos=satisfied...=))))

small..big...

2007-06-06T15:04:00.000+08:00

ppl say...small things come first than big...am i right to say tat...

sho small things do count.........

and maybe they are all tat count.cause..small plus lots of small = HUGE

sho if big things jus pop by if they ever do..would jus come like a car landin on ur head.knockin u cold..and it wouldnt mean a thing...

ppl..small things show tat u care love and enjoy someone..

big things wont mean nuts if small things dun come would they?because big things are made of small small things added up??hmmm...i wonder..

-----

dun expect ppl to come to u when u dun approach them first...if u want something..

-----

ironically..aproachin em might anger them..and approachin em to much fer things makes u cheapskate...selfish and 'keeps everythin good fer myself but they have to give it to me'label..approach em more!prepare to get...screwed...opps..

-----

life skills by doc seah...wahhahaha!nothin to really do la...think my fever kinda burnt my brain a lil...but it does make sense doesnt it.hmmm...genius..

im sorry..i love u..

2007-05-30T21:05:00.001+08:00

the times i miss.

i girl i love...

the hand i hold..

I love U.

im sorry..

----

things jus haven been goin smoothly.at home and everywhere.and cancellin again and again..and its gets really irritatin sometimes.i cant say it to u personally cause ive gotten use to not sharin and jus keepin things inside expectin it to blow over..but often it jus gets worse.and i feel worse...but i have to take it..sho when im tired...i feel depressed..frustrated..angry..a burst of emotions.and i start to think..really think...wildly

.and a nice comfortin hug..or a lil pat on the head to sae tat ure there fer me would mean lots..or even jus askin..i jus feel put away in a box in a dusty drawer.. in a way these weeks...

sometimes seein ur msg or call without me first approachin u is nice...in a way it saes alot...

and even if i approach u...u dun sound interested at all...

sometimes i wonder..if i dun call or msg...would u?

sometimes....

<333's

2007-05-28T23:13:00.000+08:00

bowl campions!!

my shoulder..looks better after a bath

right knee

forearm

past stud marks

left knee

bruised eye and stud marks all over.tats jus the begginin...but all worth it!

poo was really sweet la...and i feel kinda like guilty too..msg her the other dae sayin tat it would mean the world if she came down to support me..she did!although she was runnin a bad fever..and headache....although she onli watched two matches which we lost...than i asked her to go home cause she didnt look sho good...put her in a cab and she went home...

although it would be superb if she stayed longer fer the last match where we won...cause i scored.ran like crazy..when i put down the ball..straight away turn to the side line hopin she saw tat..but i forgot tat she went home..heh heh...but its super nice la tat she was even there to watch and support me la..=)..i love her la...i love u poo!!

isnt it nice to have ur loved one there watchin and supportin u.its jus a super nice feelin la...i love her la!maybe to others...its jus bleh..but it really meant alot..and i was super happy...i jus wanted to show her off to everyone la...how sweet my lil girl is...loves...hugs=)

poo..please please take good care of yourself...in a way i feel kinda helpless and useless over here...jus get well soon alright..sigh...call me if u need anythin alright...even if its jus to come down and accompany u.=)i noe with ur mama and stuff now.u cant come over..ill go down ya!!!!!!!!!!!sigh..jus get well asap!!!.jus miss u ya..hugs..thank you for comin down even though u were burnin up...really appreciated it loads...i love u lah!big big hugs!!!!poo!i love u love u love u la..

loves loves loves loves loves

=)))smiles and tears.

2007-05-26T23:40:00.000+08:00

gigantic mirror provokes retards

whoops!

retardedness

after a

cry

my lovable shit

my brothersheeps

her choco marshmallow

brothersheeps..and sisterlurbs

her flowers

my birthday girl=)

jus some pics on my lil girl's birthdae thing..mosquitos and humidity...haha...we argue we cry but i still love her la!haha...stress is up ya...i know..and ill be here poo!=)))

u dun have to hate urself..hey...you are not a failure...and u and everyone noes tat...if u wan to sae u are one...wat makes me...5 yrs of sec school...couldnt even do my psle proper!poo...dun think u are stupid and all...dun always look down on urself cause no one is...u are wat u think u are.ive been through alot of shit..wat i am todae..is wat i chose to be...no one is dumb and hopeless...

i noe u are stress...maybe the times ahead would be tough..and i hope at the end of the day...things would be alright...

youve been fallin ill often..take care alright...sigh.

you said we make our own future in tat letter..

2007-05-21T12:01:00.000+08:00

lil tan boon kheong..haha

my first shave.

old times..i still remember.

it all started when ppl said u looked like me..and me like u...and ppl said how much we look and play alike on the field....than came...coaches...and teachers..

oh well...bryan has changed a whole lot..got into the u16 team fer singapore rugby..flyin off to perth in june to play fer singapore..*claps*...yup...congrats lil bro...and ya..we'll miss u... i'll miss you...no matter how nonsensical or irritatin u can get sometimes..we still love u..i still love u..ahhaha...take care over there...

the old times we played together..the controversies...the shit...with coaches and teachers..

i miss tat...though uve been more competitive with me now.tryin to beat me in almost everythin...after we stop playin together....i noe u jus tryin to show me tat how much u improved...and i see it...and somehow..im proud....

one dae bryan..u'll grow up to be a young gentlemen and i mean it....

take care...lil brother...take care..

2007-05-21T11:48:00.000+08:00

thank you now...for being you...

you're worth everything..dun you dare sae ure not..

youre worth it...youre not alone..=)))

im sorry if i was a lil hmm...u know tat dae...dustbin and stuff...

thank u now fer everything...tryin to dig out some time fer me even if ure packed..

thank u now fer tat post...which meant alot....and made me eyes sting...again...

i love u love u love u..

but tat doesnt allow u to pinch me like sheesh....

hehe....

things ive done..said...understood..its jus cause i love u...

some things i said tat dae..i didnt mean..i was flarin sho i didnt really think..im sorry..

but i meant it when i said u were worth everythin...=)))))loves....

--------

YESAH!

2007-05-15T21:24:00.001+08:00

finally transferred my photos frm my phone!whahaha!

yawn

2007-05-12T11:15:00.000+08:00

alright...yest...hmm...couldnt wake fer school.... bloody tired the past few daes and all..kinda giddy when i woke..yawns!

went to the gym with MG and bryan la...

than went to west mall to eat....

than sent MG back...

than panjang...

jacks place...mothers dae dinner.

than.....

batok......

than home....

always endin up in batok again.with my brothersheeps...

oh ya..sorry didnt play soccer with u guys la ya...brought shoes and all..dinner ended late...lot of ppl..yup...other time brothersheeps...sorry guys....you noe i still love u all!haha.

more pics

2007-05-12T10:59:00.000+08:00

BROTHERSHEEPS!!!AND SISTERLURBS!

BROTHERSHEEPS +++

MY HOME>>AS SHO THEY SAE>

LOVES LOVES

oh ya...thanks ben aizat helmi.bryan.wilson..tat dae..yup...really grateful...BROTHERSHEEPS LA!

PREVIEW

2007-05-12T10:28:00.000+08:00

MONKEY GIRL!!!SEE PPL>>>TOLD U WE WENT TO THE ZOO THE OTHER DAE>>GOT THIS PIC FRM FATIN>>>PROVE>>>AWW MG LOOKS CUTE LA!heeheh

LALAAL

2007-05-08T15:52:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY POO!!!!

2007-05-05T23:48:00.001+08:00

i love u poo...

i miss poo...=((

to anon.

2007-05-05T13:11:00.000+08:00

firstly..u acknowledged me as auggie...sho i put it in a way tat u noe me somehow...and tat u are someone who is closer to me or my frens...

secondly...ur statement sayin i like another gerl but was scared to reveal her is jus fuckin senseless...let alone forced to like poo?wat nonsense is tat...maybe fer u when u like someone..u are forced to...and u dun have a mind of ur own...maybe if they force u hard enough u might even screw ur granny??hmm...seems like it the way u talk...

thirdly...no one forced me to do anythin...and i dun like poo...i LOVE chen yi ying..

and if i like someone...my FRENS would noe..maybe if i liked my granny like u.... i wouldnt...my frens noe...they noe...but apparently u dun even noe wat u talkin about..shows how much a fren u are huh?let alone havin e bloody cheek to sae this kind of thing to a fren u call...i tell things to my frens...and i dun let ppl noe i dislike noe...oh...abit too much fer u to handle..

hey take it this way.. my 'fren'....if u have sho much of dignity left....please bloody hell...come right up to me..call me msg me...im willin to listen to ur sad life...in tryin to sow discord and always failin too...ur attempts because u are lonely.and failin makes u fail more useless and alone..awww....

oh ya..if u are a guy...you damn hell dun act like one...leave ur name fer God's sake....if you're a girl...u sure sound jealous and unhappy...get help..dun cut urself k?....leave ur name to...

a simple msg to u anon...fuck u....u have sho much for ur guts....boy..if u are a guy and i find out who u are....wheew...im blessed...ill talk to u first...no worries...but ill slap u upside down like ur granny does..aww crap...than how sad would ur granny be.....

oh ya... CHEN YI YING>>>>I LOVE U!!!!OPPS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

zoo!

2007-05-04T22:18:00.000+08:00

lalalaa.

sayangs

ben's excitement ard animals

------------

yest wasnt a good dae..and i thought was to jus end it atleast nice...and have u there...

but nvm...shouted....dunno why u were sho happy about it and suddenly laughed and babblin tat its our first fight...i mean..we were shoutin...and suddenly. atleast thrashed things out...which was good wasnt it..now i noe..and u noe...

but nvm..

todae was=))

-----

although near the end i was a dick...i felt bad...but things ended out =))))))))))

finaaaaaaly got some time out and actually kinda enjoyed ourselves.i miss tat.....(cause of the bloody EXAMS).....although MG was tired from not gettin proper sleep(but she still came todae=]]]]]]]]]]..and im glad..)

horse ride was a bliss..i jus kinda miss actually jus sittin down and jus spendin time with MG=))))))havent really been doin tat..jus the few minutes walkin back...

haha...MG on the bus ride there was jus cute la.....lip singin..actin like me like the first time...=)

jus walkin along was fer me =))))you must have thought why i looked at u the whole dae.....

cause jus ya...i miss poo la..

thanks poo!loves...

ive never once thought that way...all i thought and wanted to do was help you get to wat u want...you noe how crappy i felt when i heard wat u said over the fone?i never once thought tat way...neever did i expect u to stick to me..or anythin in tat..since the start i noe ur studies and frens were first..and i always knew tat i dun have a good reputation..and i dun want wat i am in ppl's eyes to affect u...to make u feel awkward...i never once tried to put myself in between those things..i want u to spend time with ur frens and ur studies...i noe its been stressful fer u...sho i didnt want to ask u out or stuff..even if i did..was to study too?and i noe its been pressurizin too..i noe u enjoy time with ur frens...and i want u to..sho dun have to feel bad or anythin alright....if ur frens ask u out...and all...go..nvm if u have made plans with me...jus tell me in advance..but atleast remb tat u have actually made plans..and not jus ferget..sometimes i jus cant help to feel unwanted ard u..with all the things clumped together..sho always tell me anythin tats affectin u..see..u told me yest and all..=)).ill jus take all the lil small slots...even if its jus to walk u to school or back home=)tat why i try to make it a point to wake up and send u to sch...wait or come down after you're done..i dun do tat jus because its a'rule'?.i jus miss spendin time with u poo la ya..with u all tired everdae..even when u talk..i understand..

i dun mind if its jus those lil small slots =))........................................

....................................hmmm..hugs...<<<<<<<<33333333's...rest>

------------------------

ben enjoyed himself la...everyone saw tat...runnin ard...ques after ques...pattin the cows...haha...

everyone enjoyed themselves...been a long time uh guys...

smilesss=))))))))

nice dae....good dae..

ah crapp!

2007-05-01T00:02:00.000+08:00

ppl...tag....but leave ur names alright....kinda dumb right when i jus reply hu are u..urgh!

i miss playin rugby...

probs probs probs poppin....

down to us again uh helmi... ahhaha...

lac suah...

hmmmmmm......

i cant load bloody photos,!

im bored.....

im happy with her...sho please....stop ur tricks and tryin to manipulate ppl....

come to me straight....carry ur balls like a man alright.....

ppl ppl ppl....

down to helmi me ben and bryan uh...

BENJAMIN!!!!

2007-04-29T13:03:00.001+08:00

you bloody dick u!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!buey la!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ahem...breathes

2007-04-29T13:00:00.000+08:00

superman is sick...miss chen is crazy...and shameless

hehe.

2007-04-26T00:51:00.000+08:00

blogging on behalf of monkeyboy again!

HERE TO CLARIFY SOMETHING!!!!
---------->

all that you see on the right.
it's all bullshit.
hmph.
MONKEYBOY here thought it was very smart.

NVM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
GIVE HIM BANANAS TML!
AND HE'D CALM DOWN.

he better change the storyline ah, AHEMZ.
Because or ELSE he'd GEDDIT FROM MOIIIIII >:P

BLEH.
*hugs*

WHEEEEEEEEEEEEE(((((:

2007-04-24T19:50:00.000+08:00

OK! Monkeyboy is here.. He's one big MONKEY.. Likes to eat BANANAS...

REALLY ANNOYING...

But it's alright! Cuz POO still likes ya!

hehe! Like the new blogskin? hehe. lovesloves!

2007-04-24T13:15:00.000+08:00

hmmm...ppl...maybe u see a botak with a cute lil innocent lookin girl walkin to school together...and in ur mind u go..crap...he's up to no good..why...maybe cause of the things u heard frm others..the way i look...the way i walk...hmmmm

but you noe wat...fuck!i dun care...cause...im happy and tats tat...lalalaa...

sho think wat u wanna think..but..ahh...go play with yourself...too tired these few weeks to even bother...

ok...maybe it did fer a lil while cause ya..in the back of my mind i was jus afraid la.

---------

im really feelin kinda like a dick askin those questions....insensitive..i apologise...

dun really wanna write wat i msg u uh..abit pai seh la..haha.

---------

went to wcp with lover boy and lover girl...ah...

sat there like a dick when they went fer a walk...

alone...

hey...i calledd and msged not to rub it in...

nvm...friday....

pyramid..ok?smile now=)

-----

wheee.....happy with a cheeky brat....

and bryan...congrats man..rembember all the stuff i talked to u about.do me proud.

2007-04-15T20:11:00.000+08:00

IM BOTAK!!!!!!!!!

POO!!!!!!!!!

2007-04-14T12:50:00.000+08:00

FRIDAY THE 13TH UNLUCKY DAY????wahahaha....NOPE.beautiful dae!

.

yup..HAPPY...but ill..and stressin over my hair..and i love poo..wahahha....yes POOOO>>

as some of u noe...my hair is like my PRECIOUS..actually..ppl kinda noe me fer my hair..and my temper..sho if u take away the hair...left the negative..sho crap...

i noe..YOUU dun like a bald handsome chap...but no choice...

seriously im scared...very scared to shave....crap....sigh..urgh..whee...whoo...FUCK..

my HAIRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!

GONEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!

NOOOOOOOOOO!

alright....shavin tommorow....sho ya...wanna see me shave???call me...wahahha..can tag along....

gonna be a bald monkey boy....hmmmm.....

i dun wanna shave la!!!!!!!!!bloody quekk.....urgh....i want my 'BED'....fluin....sigh....

poooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2007-04-08T17:15:00.001+08:00

my lil bros...takecare!

results???hmmm...guess ill be here always...always..as promised.

better be jokin about findin another one.urgh.

2007-04-05T22:04:00.000+08:00

=)yawns!sho much fer bed fer me!yawns..

it was an honour..to play with you guys...thank you boys fer endin it fer me.

sho big fer wat!sho big sho weak no!

2007-04-01T21:27:00.001+08:00

angry..betrayed..used..jus fucked up...

2007-03-31T16:12:00.000+08:00

ppl CARE and LOVE you.no one would DESPISE you or FORGET u..you are loved by the ppl ard YOU...=)

always remember tat alright.>>>

*massages*

into the bin u go!

..........................

the ants go marchin one by one..HOORAH!!!HOORAH!!!

BACK FROM OBS WITH BEAUTIFUL BRUISES CAUSED BY "RUBBISH"

HANDSOME COME BACK ALREADY!!!!!YAY!!!!

.........................

ppl is it fair when someone is angry and irritated and they always vent it on u..leavin you clueless everytime..not very fair uh....haha..ahem..

.....................

i never turned my back even though...

links back to the top...

smile!

smile ppl smile!!!

2007-03-24T23:39:00.000+08:00

----
great times i had..

hmmm...will collect my results next sat...after obs...the possibilities..the thoughts tat ran through my mind...school..my frens...when will it be the last time i walk along side them and laughin...the next time i see the lil bryan actin like a clown..ben doin his ouh ouh thing.helmi disturbin me and sho many other thoughts flashed.the people i offended...how shity some of my relationships are with people..how ive been livin my life this 5 years.ppl say im stubborn...but its diff if you are facin this la..dunno how to sae la..jus if the thing comes out bad..i wanna make things better first..make sour relationships not sour.and jus enjoy my life.make it a better one first..oh well...like helmi said..enjoy obs first..ill try..

-----

hmm.maybe things jus turned really lousy right at the end right befer obs!im still gonna try to enjoy myself despite all the things goin on...whee...!better be good i tell you obs!jus gonna let go there....mmm...hahah...*pat on the back fer myself*

---

you enjoy obs too!=)

2007-03-23T19:36:00.000+08:00

i noe..i noe tat i haven led u ppl well..i noe..i haven been a gd captain..i noe..
its jus tat sometimes..when i blow up at you guys..its jus cause..right befer games..the pressure and stress is up..and you guys dun seem to want it..and i have to face ur attitudes..worry bout the game..and ur trouble in school..its my last yr now..might have been my last game fer this school.and i wanted to atleast see everyone play it with their all..dun mind losin...as long as you guys show tat you gave it all.leave the pitch satisfied..we won yest..but u think we played well?you guys noe wat i mean..i have faith in u guys..i noe u guys can do it...im sorry if ive been a hothead and nt really sensitive...jus win the upcomin game alright...i wasnt suppose to play at all..but i did..i lied down..the pain came..jus...guys..play it all...im proud tat i have played with u guys..been a part of OUR team..proud of each and everyone of u..i noe u guys can go far..be strong boys..you have my respect..im sorry tat i have not been an ideal leader fer u ppl..play on..play hard..and stay together..

its out ok ppl..with me always fallin ill and in and out of hosp..twice now i thought i was gonna leave..waitin fer results fer the next one..at 16 im scared..i am..really am..at this point..if its gonna turn out the way it is..i dun wanna offend and leave with hate in ppl...dun wanna leave with things like tat..the mistakes ive done..i wan to leave knowin tat i have done wat i could have..ppl im askin fer forgiveness frm everyone ive ever offended or did wrong.jus keepin everythin inside.

not been a really good dae...problems jus keep comin...fights..stupid things..and urgh.

alright..i noe ive been stubborn and didnt listen..i apologise.its jus tat..nvm..ive explained..jus hope u understand where im comin frm..alright?i noe u heard this many times,but jus really..i really dunno wat to sae anymore.jus hope u understand.

jus....sigh..nvm..

2007-03-18T21:02:00.000+08:00

ok got rid of the links which are like no longer there..either closed their acc or not there la..sho ya..if you wan me to link...jus tag ya..yup yup...=)

2007-03-18T13:48:00.000+08:00

choco fudge cake u sae..no lyin now...first it was sweets you sae...than you gobbled em up...now you sae CHOCO FUDGE CAKE???you sure..wahahaha...you sure tat one slice would reach me..?wahaha...or in ur tummy...?hmmm...or i wont be ard...nah...i will..superman...nothin's gonna happen..i hope...lalalala..lets look on the brighter side..

take care now ppl...=)smile

2007-03-17T22:33:00.000+08:00

ill be gone soon..bye bye.=)

2007-03-08T16:49:00.000+08:00

0603-tues

hmmm....day started off nicely..had a soccer match against sec 3t 4t and 3e combined..brought boots fer karthik...lessons..than when school ended..match started soon enough...pai seh la...startin 15 min losin by 3-0...than everyone played proper..scored back slowly....than play play play..we got desperate...started firin balls at goal...fly here and there...nvm...some skinny mother bugger....challenge ball...he aim my beautiful knee...kabamm!fall...on my beautiful finger...pain like anythin...everyone...stine..dun play la...go sit down first..i stubborn...dun wan listen...play..nvm...angry mah...wat to do...yup...than i started to chase although couldnt breathe proper...bloody pissed...than slowly...finger got worse..but pulled in one goal ah...wawan!..wahahha...than chase and chase...naz...than suddenly my chest pain.like the dae befer durin trainin....crampin feelin...couldnt breathe in...squat down...than it got worse...got sho bad i couldnt stand it...lied on the field...tat made it worse...its like theres someone's hands inside ur ribs squashin ur lungs tryin to make squash like tat...and another hand stabbin when i tried to breathe...than slowly...i couldnt see...legs and arms went numb and cold...ppl tried to help...thanks! but when they tried to move me it hurt even more...

couldnt really hear ppl talkin to me...jus a buzzin in my ear and mumbled voices...able to catch a few ppl talkin onli..the ppl i was more frequent talkin to...soon...st johns came...stretcher came...they tried to lift me but it killed when they moved me..but it was too hot...sho they had to..lift me halfway got stuck with my chest pressed against the bar...and it killed more..than they i was restin on the bar fer a while first befer i got pushed up proper...think went to a shaded area think near the bball court..than they asked me questions...but i couldnt ans..pain was jus gettin worse...apparently...they said the whole period i punched alot of ppl..haha.than it was very hot...sho i tried to call berg to tell him hot...he thought i wan to get up...he go pull me..wah!!!!basket...than i speak malay than he understand...sho think they shift me to the canteen than to the st johns room...where i rested was feelin better but it still hurt inside...my body kept dunno jerkin..couldnt control...but each time it did i thought it was over fer me boy..told ms ngiam dun call ambulance..ok wan..SUPERMAN MA!!!! than i tried to sit up on the bed..but ya...mr lee go suddenly pull my arms ask me lie down proper...but i felt better sittin..with the sudden pull...my lungs cramped again...than they called ambulance...bloddy cd officer talk like fuck like tat..sho yaya..like he God like tat...

sho pai seh...in the middle of sho many ppl in school kenna load up in ambulance....reach NUH..check up...jab me with trauma jabs this jab that jab to stop me jerkin.and relax..than paste this and tat clip this and tat than wires..than beeps...than up my butt..oww.....

moved to obeservation bay...doc checked...examined...xray...than put me on sho many drips...got pics...but i can seem to load frm phone to com...sho nvm..wanna see..come find me..ill try again la to load...hmmm...

whole experience frm the start when it hurt i thought i was goin home to my heavenly father..thought i was goin to die..sho when they said take out the cross on my neck i said no...held on to it..and started to pray...in the hospital..hey...anytime man...and with all sho many conflicts with blah and blah...sho many stuff left undone...tentioned relationships...and stuff...kinda a wake up call to patch things up and change to a better person....make things right again...befer its too late..and i leave with regrets.and ppl hatin you still even if you died.and other shit..cant smoke anymore...yup...sho ya...to die at 16 and the pain and stuff when i zoomed to the a&e room...with me on the stretcher and the lights zoomin pass..and the pain and people shoutin move move.thought i was ya..gone..u may laugh but i was scared...

yup...yup...

lazy to add details...hmm..

yup...my lungs or the muscles ard it sort of cramped and contracted...sho i couldnt breathe...and everytime it sort of cramped..my body jerked...sho now i noe why sho pain...hmm...yup...scary...

ppl..u may laugh and joke bout me..but ya...its time we all woke up...with the shit world like this...youll never noe..this woke me...and im tryin...to change things and lead a more fulfillin life frm now on...been livin it in shit and headin the wrong way...sho ya...jus back frm hospital...fer check up...

not as handsome bryan next to me...haha...jiwe me go hospital...apparently he kinda high now...with a new pic...ahem....

alright...better now.although when i breathe or walk too much it hurts in the middle...and ya..im not allowed to run fer 2 weeks...cause inside still weak after last weeks flu and fever and infection and after the trauma on tues..sho ya...but ah...me...dun run...no sports..no rugby..no soccer...jus not me ah...maybe one week la ah..hahaha..llala....

take care ppl!!!!!!!!!smile ppl!!!!!!!!!=)=)=)

2007-03-03T15:44:00.000+08:00

alright....went to the gym with ben liew!my finger this morn was..urgh...took out to wash...its like super blue black...swelled up...hmmmmm....but still!went to the gym...lalalala!!!!but restricted though!!!!!!whee!!!!gotta burn those fats!!!

ppl!!!TAG!!!!

BUT LEAVE UR NAMES>>DUN SHY SHY!WAHAHAHAHA!!I WONT EAT YOU UP!!!!

welll....

2007-02-26T17:18:00.000+08:00

hmmm...broke my middlefinger durin the match on thurs...but yup atleast it helped darran score his first try...yup..
its really hard typin now with a finger tat doesnt bend cause of a splint....and its hurtin still...fresf injury sho ya...can feel e pulsin pain....didnt get enough slp the past few daes...cause it really kills at night...gettin better...but ben liew accidentally hit my finger and the splint bent...stressin e joint...( alright took me like 8 min to type this)hurt like hell last night...didnt slp last night...although eng paper todae...i didnt go to school...wasnt feelin too gd...

yup..my knee is either slightly off its place or its my ligament..check up fer my knee on 16 march...which is sho far away i still have my matches...cause season is still on....finger one is tommorow...hope it doesnt get a cast like e other time..

if no cast and theres like a match..think ill jus cut it off and tape it up...yup...last yr now..wanna play...jus a finger now.. think ill be able to handle it la..yup...dun care..

now...if check up goes well fer both...ill play fer sure...and maybe hit obs..but at the rate its goin..if my finger gets cast...still a slight chance tat i can go..
but if my knee has bad complications..than yup....sorry helmi...its not tat i dun wanna go...my finger and knee..no choice...yup...lets see wat happens tommorow...but ya...guess if i dun go...obs...think alot of ppl would be relieved...and glad...tat i'm not...anyway....if im nt goin...you guys enjoy!

kinda stuck in the middle whether i should play in the upcomin matches...tapin my knee and fing
er up..and riskin breakin it further...and not goin fer obs....cause its my last tournament fer the school and ya..kinda started up e team...and ya...want to end it too..not halfway..

or jus skippin the matches and get my finger well sho i can go fer obs...afterall..last yr too...last chance...but by the way its goin with my finger..knee and some other things..i dun really have the mood to go...i wanna go and enjoy see...with all my frens.helmi..berg.aizat.ben.and ppl like ying annkhay and like ppl i know.and mayb clear some bad blood.befer all the stress hits in school.not sit there like a moron and sulk....last camp now fer my and the sec fours....yup...sho ya...if i were to go it would be fun and ya..enjoyable i suppose..but by the way its goin with my injuries and ppl...really urgh...

sho i guess i really dunno...to play and break but enjoy the thing i love and end wat i started or not to play and regret...but go fer obs.=/

hmmm..
i dunnno...

yup yup....

rain-breakin benjamin...nice song..

ok...1h 18mins! to type this...more details when it doesnt hurt sho much...yup.

take care ppl...

sigh

2007-02-14T20:36:00.000+08:00

whee!

superman!
5n bangs

whoo!
superman at work.
my thaipusam boy!

smile!

ok...back from the docs...hmmm.old injury now.ligament last time..now..its jus a slight lil tear and a pull..coach doesnt allow me to play tommorow...saes...cannot risk it...urgh..guess im not playin tommorow then...v dae..but its like a normal dae la...since im forever single and will be right helmi! advised me to turn gay huh..maybe i would=x other pics next time

2007-02-01T21:06:00.000+08:00

alright....turnin..fat flabby and losin my mass...sheesh....

2007-02-01T16:27:00.000+08:00

match cancelled todae....

hmmm....

rugby boys...you guys proved me wrong twice....when we played our matches...

but you guys come onli when they are matches...

and not train...

dun train...

dunno ur team...and how they play...

get injured....sae dun wanna play anymore..

you guys always sae you have problems comin to trainin...

but not matches...

you guys sae you wanna play sho badly...but you guys dun show it...at all...

i have my difficulties....too...to tame you guys when you guys are all fuckin ard..

to have to shout and all...

you guys noe it too..when you guys train proper...like durin the hols....i shut up...and everyone enjoys...

i come fer every trainin...unless im really sick...and tat counts fer once onli...

you guys....skip trainin saein hey i need to go home cause you guys dun feel well...and guess wat...i see you smilin after trainin outside..

guys...theres a diff between i can or cannot and i want and dun want to play and win...you guys showed tat you can play.....won schools our school hasnt ever beaten bfer..

im proud...

but if you sae you want to play...show it to me..

you guys are sayin hey...i wanna play but i dun feel like comin fer trainin...isnt tat now contradictin...

if you wanna play...and have shit at home or outside....mr feidzal aaron and me can help...

but tats not it...you guys noe why you guys dun come fer trainin..and wat kind of reasons..
sometimes i dun feel like comin too...but i have to...i have to...because 5 years ago i decided to join and start it..and im not gonna put it down... even though sometimes i sae i would...out of impulse and anger...you guys plead me to come back...but when i come back..you guys are still the same...you guys want me to come to save ur asses or you guys wanna play with me.show me!

reasons like you guys wanna out wit the ger you like...sure...every guy does....skip trainin cause of tat....yes....once in a while yes i think...cause everyone does tat at sometime...maybe not fer me cause..nvm...another story...but not every trainin.and give excuses sayin my mama calls me back...

you guys noe it urself when ppl skip trainin...and give a excuse...straight away you guys noe whether its the truth or not...by spillin lies...you guys are doin urselves in...not me...you guys throw ur respect....tell the truth...we hear...if you sae...i dun fell like todae...and give the real reason.hey we cant do anythin...after a while maybe the team could help u.but not lies...tat would go the other way.

i dun wan to turn into a cap which you guys hate and show no respect cause i scream at u guys....almost all the time...i dun wan to be like the other senior u guys hated sho much...you guys now who i talkin bout..

guys...as long as you guys play along side me...back me up and support me... ill be there along side and backin you guys too...in and out of the field...

help me guys...

help me...win somethin fer the school my self and you guys...its my last year...you guys already can tell...maybe after this year....we are the last batch..and maybe i can sae.i was wit it frm start to end....and ended it wit a bang...

thanks to the ppl who are present always...and truthful....every match...trainin...

its heart...respect...

thanks to the ppl who give me tat...and show me...

im sure you guys agree hey...we really improved...

one more week...next thurs....openin season match...

mondae....give me heart....last hard trainin alright!

come on ppl... come on...

feb....fast.....stress up up up!

studies...cca....and blah.

hmmmm....

still tryin...still tryin...meanwhile....i noe u are happy....stay tat way alright...

take care lil kiddo..

haha!

yawn.....screw M.S.G and instant noodles!

2007-01-23T21:23:00.000+08:00

hmmm....

match yest....won acs i
actually thrashed em...ref had to blow whistle halftime...

lost to bedok south....

west wood didnt show...mm...

matches started late...ended late...
reached back sch at 750..

yawn! was really exhausted and achin.with deep stud marks on my right inner thigh...which hurt really bad when i put on my long pants...have pics....cant upload...other dae...

things gettin better i suppose with people around me..

this 'period' has taught me alot...

to live out there alone..by yourself...at the same time manage ur responsibilities proper...and studyin fer ur major exams in order to score...i know if i wasnt out there fer tat time..i could have done better....

this year....packed...really exhaustin weekly cycles...grades droppin...the position in class where im sitted makes it worse...to concentrate...cause its like the side...and behind.where i can hardly see....with taller people like jason infront...who dun cherish the nice positionin and sleeps his head off...i really think its gettin 'biased' if you noe wat i mean...i wanna work hard and prove the bastard wrong again...although i didnt show him my results the last time...

mondae wed anf thurs rugby...with thurs as season matches..tues b chi lessons till 530..fri ncc....weekends...you noe...work..

hmmm...

want to shift to the front...i do tat durin geo lessons which helps me a great deal....no distractions and temptation to slp....im sho exhausted everydae...the current sit jus saes to me...slp jus slp...

i want to move to the front...which im sure will keep me awake especially durin math where there are sho many periods...and things i dun understand....math is actually one of my not sho gd subs...hais...i dunno wat else to sae...im tired...yawn....

people! rugby boys.... thanks....believe ya...

yes yes...bryan looks like me....i noe i noe...my long lost brother....yup yup..

both handsome ma! wat to do right!

stress is pickin up alright....more responsibilities this year..

new years resolution..=no fightin..unless provoked...till the limit...no findin probs...till probs come...fight onli if youre wrong...fightin means..physically..and control my temper...

ppl...dun doubt me boi..

2007-01-14T17:57:00.000+08:00

ok..things have turned out fer the better...

thank you Lord.

hmmm.finally dropped my chinese....

more time fer other subs...but...

hmmm

payin fer my bills exam fees sch fees and necessities and stuff...

workin on the weekends...

mondae and wed....rugby..

fridae ncc...

and stuff jus adds...

hmm..
exhausted...

no time or energy to have a social life any more..

found a lil long lost lookalike......bryan...both handsome la..

hmmm...

hope this year jus gets better soon...its startin to be=)

2007-01-04T13:15:00.000+08:00

ok...yest was the first dae of school...which went well in the start...

than....

poof...

came a ugly duck'ling' with a ass sho big it seemed like it was comin out to look at the world...

i purposely asked how you wanted it to be....

sho i didnt have to run here and there fer nothin....

you told me...
em
i did it...

exactly...

screwed it up...

you still said not satisfactory....

you ask me to do wat you had in mind...than you dun like....fuck you...is it my problem than.?

your ego is as big as ur butt....sho big it looks like its growin everydae...like ur butt. poor husband of urs...sheesh...i dare not wonder any further...

now its screwed up fer nothin....

maybe if you had really thought about it....no matter wat i could have done...it was useless...

and...fuck...wait la....till it grows out....bloody bird brain....

now its shit....sho fuck you....

when i come back...and you sae...hmmm....i dun think its ok still....hmmm.....in ur bloody sarcasm when you talk to students....im gonna fuck you back sho fast till ur ass hides inside...you wanna humiliate me...hehe....ill let you have ur first taste of NA..

i dunno wats in ur minds....puttin someone wit a big big ass and ego in charge of us....
she doesnt care bout the students...personally...jus doin her 'job'..when the students you are fuckin in charge of have problems...i dun see you there...but the previous person who was in ur position.....which i respect...

puttin someone with such a fuckin big ego....and you can tell frm her arrogant face....is tat ya...hey...she was in a nice family....studied in a good school in a gd stream....and etc...

you think we want to be in e na.?you dun even noe wat it feels like in here...
and you dun even bother tryin to understand...wat makes you fit to be in charge...

the way you talk offends us....rubbin it in and talkin like we are some useless pieces of shit...jus bein here to be here.....when we get our results...instead of congratulatin us..wat do you sae?hey....fuck u!!!!!!!!!!!!!

tell you wat...when you try to humiliate na students...whether infront of alot of ppl or in any other way....booof!bye bye....dun try it man...

and soon...when i am back...you try tat....

wahahha.....

im not bein here cause i want to alright....

sho ya....fuck off and get a ass tuck....

ps...no one is scared of you la...huh...treat us with respect...and we will do the same...you cold hearted bird brain..

2006-12-27T22:54:00.000+08:00

work work work.been workin..

year endin.

new year comin up.

new phone..

new life i hope..

2006-12-18T21:55:00.000+08:00

ok ppl...

previous post

ice queen/bitch=sister= audrey seah

the paragraph after tat and onwards is another thing all by itself.

if ppl would have noticed.every single para is a diff thing...why..cause im workin... i reach 'home' at two every night...my off daes. i cramp stuff.together..

i was readin ur blog jus.and i noticed...yes.im not gonna try to explain.im tired.i noe ur reaction would be...watever...but ya...if u think tat i am and sae wat you stated i am after my post.its ok..i wont stop you.

to think so wat if you dun reply to things...doesnt mean i see u as wat you think i see u as...who i am to judge.

im in alot of shit altogether clumped together.it doesnt mean tat everythin i sae refers to u.

if tat para was to you...would i still msg and sae.hey..goodnight...

its up to you ppl...

yes im a bastard...am i dickhead...ive done sho many things in my life i regret...i regret not cherishin the relationship between my family....i regret leadin the life im leadin....doin the things ive done..

but wat can i do now...

jus try...try to make things better...im in this myself...ive gotta hang on..

results todae...

3 pts and i noe i could have done better in the other subs...but still walkin out of the hall wit my envelope in my hands...i couldnt smile....

i jus thought...hey...dad....ive done it...be proud of me will you...

mom...im not who i used to be anymore...fergive me..

ideal results...

i couldnt smile or be really happy...

cause it doesnt mean anythin now....

ive lost all i could lose...

ppl if you wan to bitch and talk about me...im ok with it..im not gonna sae anythin...or do anythin...cause if i were to sae tat youre my fren...you are..

but still...i wanna thank everyone who has helped me and been my fren...whether fer a moment or wtuck wit me till now...

ben wilson and meng...carryl..yi ying...helmi and siva...yishu and bekah...ms ngiam and ben liew.mr mazlee and ms koe.mr feidzal..this ppl stuck by me when things were at the worse.

the past yr it was a wreck...

ben wilson and meng...you helped when i needed...thanks..

carryl...you were the nicest lil kiddo i could had ever have...glad tat you are happy..

yiying..you promised to be a fren and you have...

helmi...thanks...

life has been life....

but u guys have added things to it ill never ferget...

im gonna make things better...

thank you Lord fer everythin...

there are sho many ppl out there i wanna thank one by one....

thanks ppl...

im nt askin fer fergiveness or pity...

this is how i feel..

the year ahead...

hmmm...

im not proud of the things ive done...the life im leadin...and who i am...

i wanna start anew and i am...

2006-12-12T00:01:00.000+08:00

hotel or home?

family or enemies....

dad...

"fuck off and go to hell"rings in my head.

he comes back.. like me...when no one is back...

mama...i worry fer you.....alone at home....knowin u have a family...but a vacant home...

sister moved out...

its been takin alot out of me since.....

im tired....

when is it gonna stop...

the trips to the zoo...movies...toys r us....when i was still young..

the playground.....jie...

the computer...kor....

the dinners....

the outings....

botanic gardens....

tv....five....

and now... steppin pad...

takin shit cause you all have shit....

and everythings shit now....

i want it back...
i wan my dad..
my mom...
my sis...
my bro...

to love each other...again

and love me....

i thank you still oh God......fer the ppl ard me...

whether they digress me or not..... bless em.....

fill em with the sprit of forgiveness and wisdom....

a sprit of love and care....

cover them wit love and care.....

send your angels oh lord over everyone ard me...

cover them wit protection oh Lord...and cover em wit love.
thank you..

come back dad...

sis....

brother...

mother....be strong....

i love you all...

come back together....

stop treatin each other like enemies....

family....

i miss you dad.. bro...

sis... mama...

im sorry...

forgive me..

2006-12-11T23:16:00.000+08:00

are girls startin to become hypocrites and totally off...sheesh..aww fuck man... im gonna blow soon....

rugby match was cancelled todae....why?cause batok rugby players are bloody colourful!!!!my hair fer instance...

move on ppl move on!!!!!!!stop holdin onto things..theres like next yr...walk past me and feel awkward...but im not gonna to...

but ya....went to queensway todae...hmmm....where'd you go...hmmm...

ice queen man....you're turnin into a bitch....seriously..stop before you like shit on my face and turn and look at yourself.you happy?.im jus to like make things get better again...if you like things now and how you feel everydae..suit urself...i dun wan to...ive been doin my part...think bout wat you said... like ya..and wat you've been doin?ah....tah dah...

im still gonna try to make things better...i jus hope watever misunderstandins...and im sure there is alot...due to gossip and blah..and ppl assumin too...and thin this tat...and like...fuck ard...talkin bull....hmmm...

ppl..seriously its really dumb to lose a friend.

like after everythin...and one small lil mistake...poof...its jus really dumb...
and a moment of impulse...sheesh...when you ppl do things sho bad...like ah now...you sae sorry and ppl have to fergive...and when ppl do things to you...you become sho unforgivin and your heart sho cold...sheesh man....go on and complain bout how everyone is doin things to you...this goes out to alot of ppl...and *you* and *you*

please....wat has this world come to...filled wit coldness and anger...is anyone gonna be happy livin like this?

lalalalal~

work work...tommorow...than...camp camp!

yawns.....

yawns...

went cut hair...auntie why you go let the new malaysian guy touch my hair...now!!!!!!!!!!!!!me precious.....sighs......

fuck man.....

movin on...moved on....

2006-12-05T20:55:00.000+08:00

ahems!scholar scholar!!!!!!!!!

tarzan!
jane?
my love.
7 colours=2 weeks

diy moha'e'wkian
me infront. jjc vs batok alumni
see!got second!second!
black and white..hmm
memories ppl
smilleeee
vip card to?us?
no hair?to plenty to spare!
twisties!

workin...tired...flabby...hmmm....ikea...sheesh...pondan!helmi fav over dere...the other way too...butt kenna touch ah helmi?whahahah....she la...wanna make ur butt more jet not?

anyone missed me????????others file to big..lazy upload ah!

2006-11-27T00:15:00.000+08:00

sometimes its hard to fergive...but one dae...we would have to...wat fer bear grudges dae in dae out...its jus gonna make u shitty....right ppl? dun ppl jus realise...when they fergive...they feel better?hmmm...nvm..

four years have passed...gone through sec sch wit you guys..now you guys are gone...yup...tats life...one more year i guess...hmmm...grad night was great...sat at the table fer a brief moment...thinkin bout the past...the good and the bad...yup..the fat short small lower sec times..too the handsome pretty ppl on grad night.hmm...

seriously..it was a waste...disappointed...it was the last night..and guess wat...ppl had to leave fer..'reasons'.if you ppl realise.we wont be able to hang out in tat way anymore..its diff...guess..it jus tat uh...hmmm..guys..call me out when you guys are free alright.yup...

seriously...i jus miss school wit u all...yup...

take care ppl...

bitter sweet..you guys noe wat i mean..hmmm...

shall upload photos when i get em...hmm

2006-11-24T00:14:00.000+08:00

finally...job...super tirin though....IKEA!

2006-11-11T00:41:00.001+08:00

ok...ppl...keep ur fuck comments to yourself...yes...sho wat if i dun have a home now...maybe you guys are like problem free....but hey...fuck you...im not you....sheesh..helmi...not you....and thank you again helmi...fer...ya...

ok....am workin fer rebekahs mams shop...yup...second dae todae..been ok....thanks bekah and auntie!yup...

ok...todae...this bunch of girls came into the shop...ask fer me number....wat to do right...but i said got gf...i dun really like it...and its sometimes damn irritatin...sho ya....blah blah blah..

soccer tommorow at 730 again....

paper 2 todae..finally over....went meet helmi and guys at like 193...than it started to rain like sheesh...sho!!!!!!!!we decided to take a cab to school...took off uniforms cause need to walk under the rain lil till the shelterd busstop....argh...was like totally wet...and guess wat!!!!!!!!!wore a white singlet...and wet='porn'wahahhaa.....got off the cab...and tah dah!the whole sec 4 there...took a bag cover...than walk to toilet change...argh.....
helmi was smart...damn smart...paper 1...bring curve ruler....paper 2?never bring...best!paper 2...never bring calculator!!!!!!!!!smarty pants ah...!ahha..he noes the trigo values by heart...

ok....bless you two alright...i noe i cant do much now...jus take care of the lil kiddo man..yup...
have fun!

alright...smile...

things are changin sho fast...but guessall i can do is try to make things better...at least i try...yes..its awkward and hard...and alot of pullbacks in ur minds...but ill still try...i dun wanna leave wit shit thoughts.....wit you ppl....

sho ya...im not as 'fierce' as i look...sho ppl...sae hi...and chuck ur hand in my face....and wave like crazy....haha!

2006-11-11T00:41:00.000+08:00

2006-11-07T00:49:00.000+08:00

ok...family probs and probs wit ppl u care about may seem insignificant to ppl..but...family is like u...without ur family...u wont be here...

but when ur family outcasts u...an dur dad asked u to fuck off the house till now...and u remember once ur mama said u were a accident...jus puts u down...when ur dad puts u down in watever uve achieved...hurt.pain...confused...and when the ppl u care about turns their back on u..the ppl u trust...become somelse...and they sae its all bout me...than...they ask me to look at myself?i have..and i have done my part....the other part lies wit them....sho i can jus try and try..but if they dun..than...

i keep to myself almost all the time..and even if i sae...its jus the top...cause i cant hold it in..u cant squeeze a cushion into a basket full of cushions can u...ppl sae...im actin...yes i am...i put on a front...tryin to smile.laugh like a idiot...and joke.....i onli sound shitty here...cause its here i dun have to face ppl when i sae things...this is how i feel really...sho fer christ sake...stop critisizin...maybe you dun really have probs...but i have...u have a home...a family...i dun...sho shut up...be content and dun judge...think how ppl would feel alright...u ppl dun feel wat i feel...and i dun feel wat u feel...sho if u really wanna care...jus shush..alright.

2006-11-04T01:18:00.000+08:00

ok its jus diarrhoea now..

hmm...sometimes ppl jus see the outside picture and jus judge it by it looks like..but you dunno how others would feel...would anyone noe how someone else is feelin?diff ppl are diff tats without sayin...they view things diff. take things diff and see things diff...sho somethings ppl sae...are jus unfair and make me seem like im a ass...was i a ass to anyone of you ppl out there...maybe i was...but was i a ass useless and oh sho troublesome throughout in ur eyes.when you had things...was i an ass?.when you had a prob..and you came to me...was i a ass....you should noe...ppl judge..its cruel...i cant blame ppl..cause i do to...but we should all learn tat each and everyone is diff and see things diff and...youll never noe how the other person is feelin...cause he might not take things the you are...a lil give and take...?forgivin and forgettin...easier said than done but...it can BE!..mutual understandin..tat everyone is diff and not one thinks exactly as the other..

hmmm...ppl are ppl..jus hope everythin turns out alright...who wants to walk away wit a shit end?

ok..went jln raya wit helmi berg..fad.zal..aizat..lukman..fahmi and faiz...onli chi...zal asked me along...was kinda pai seh at first ah...you noe ah...malays have alot of respect fer their elders and customs...and later i offend someone?hmm...good experience...had a taste of alot of kueh! wahahahha....can eat already wat..wah!yum..

ok...things are diff now...its weird and very kinda hostile.and you noe...sho ya...i had enough...sho if you or you had enough...im always ready to patch things back alright=)jus come to me...or tell me when you had enough too...im sure like in the past. you noe and you noe how things were...fun...funny...crapp...and you noe...sho ya...when you finally feel tat you had enough..tell me..yup...yawn...

soccer tom at 730...yawn...at rizal house now wit berg!nites.

FUCKED UP HAIR PPL>>>FUCKED UP>>>SEE ME>>>U UNDERSTAND!

2006-10-30T16:10:00.000+08:00

jus came back frm gettin a jab on my ass 2hrs ago...came back...had a last vomit trip...exhausted...slept...woke up...felt hungry...fer the first time in two daes.survivin on glucose water.

thanks lil nigel and ur DAD fer sponsorin my doc fees..

been down wit gastric flu fer the past few daes...couldnt drink couldnt eat...it jus came out in front or behind.drink...vomit...diarrhoea also water....was horrible...even if there wasnt anythin in my tummy i still felt like vomitin...didnt sleep proper....bones were cold and achin...poundin...couldnt move...i miss my mother.its been a month...hope shes doin fine.

sometimes when i was vomitin...its was pain...numb all over...exhaustin gettin up every fifteen minutes gaggin infront of the toilet bowl or sittin on it....weak....totally gone..it sucks..

feelin better now after the jab on my ass...which was big..and i was too weak to feel anythin....im not vomitin as much but jus really bad diarrhoea like a open tap...literally..not as weak now...able to drink without vomitin.scared to eat though...shall survive on glucose..first...but fever is still up... ok

im goin off now...shall get somemore rest...needa go fer lessons tom...missed todae...

frens..shouldnt avoid each other and feel funny...all i want is things to be alright again..like how it was last time...not to the extend of tat period of time but...like in the past as frens...real frens.befer tat.real fun and happy...hope things work out soon...lil kiddo...its fer you too...im sorry..

ok...off to sleep now..finally able to sleep proper...feelin a lil exhausted and weak now.tc ppl

2006-10-26T12:55:00.000+08:00

wit ms ngiam
crystal ball
hear cuteness,see cuteness,speak of cuteness

wave wave wave...i jus want things to be alright...frens are frens...shouldnt avoid or feel funny when you see each other ah..if you noe tat there is nothin goin on..sho why should frens feel weird and funny when you see each other uh.right benji boi!right 'PPL'?? haha...jus be more urself right right right...and slowly itll be ok..yup yup...like the past...when we were frens... yup!!!at least on proper talkin fun talkin times like last time...somethings happen...times pass..should move on and be more friendly and friendly to one another!

hahha...yest...last min match against 3 exp...sheesh...sae 2 o clock...nana! than egg drop thing...sheesh..!sae 3? in the end.330...wah!!!nana!you all lay eggs or drop lehs....sheesh...than got lightin already by then alright....than mr turban came and sae cannot play.lightnin..sky cleared...God answers...hahah...play...first half...helmi super stuns came out la..man laugh...all laugh..all kay siao...till they scored...wah...shit..scored back...they did too...ended first half 2-2..hahha....we all decided dun play ard le...loose to 3exp...cannot ah!no offence but really wat.ahhaha...played...first time kinda gd communication!! wahahha.....scored and scored...attan!5 goals...helmi 1 goal...fad 2 goals....ME 1 goal! hehe...like finally..and zat one goal! haha....ended 10-2..thought got more actually...haha..but nvm...we won....

hmmm...think should play against you all again ba ya...yup..next time..change up and boots please...you all ask dun rough...we start never ah...but!you all...tsk tsk...we also la...but its like...you all noe la huh...dun anger us ah...4n ah!! dun play ah..wahhaha..jkjk...yup good game!

hmmm...forgive and forget...! love unconditionally...as God said..

downloaded bebot..and some other songs..and some funny extra songs got downloaded...bonus tracks???but there're nice! yup...ppl...if im online ask me send you..nice nice... pics are hard to load..slow..im home!!!but fer a while to collect my things while everyone is out...sheesh...no time...need to rush out...shall upload again sometime again.

2006-10-24T16:19:00.000+08:00

i got ur point already...can you like stop rubbin it in.i noe.

ok..yest walked into the bloody girls toilet in the freakin je lib.went to study...sheesh...still stand infront of the bloody mirror to make my hair...than when i was about to pee i wondered why no urinals.sho i decided to go to the door and check..sheesh..the sign got skirt...wah...embarrassment...shall leave the rest out..

ok ppl... i noe i've a very very bad impression to you guys...i smoke...i drink...i fight...i blow ppl away...if you dun really like me...tell me straight ya...dun go hittin me somewhere in the back...dun indirectly sae somethin which concerns me to shoot me or hint me in a manner...i noe... im tryin to change the things that are not tat nice now....

ppl remember the bad things...the hoorible things...the mistakes....i cant blame...but everyone does...yes...im alone now...im down...but it doesnt give you the right to stomp over my head...

some ppl expect too much...no one is perfect...if you cant stand any part of me..tell me...i can never read ur mind you noe..jus dun piss ard wit me...and ill be ok...

you purposely say and set things which are like against me...and expect me to get the hint...oh God...i got it already... i really do...so you can stop it...if you want me out of ur life because of this..and you cant stand the awkwardness.tell me.im tryin to clear it..alright..if you dun wanna clear it..i cannot do anythin..it lies wit you now...if you cant stand me even as a fren...tell me...if you dun wanna see me...tell me...dun give me excuses askin me to shoo...i have my life....i have my own things to do...if im there.dun give me excuses sayin tat you dun wan hear me complain..why cant i be there...i made plans?if you dun wanna see me...tell me straight...dun give me old beat ard the bush excuses...ill listen...i wont purposely go the way you're goin..if you dun like it...you think im tat sort of person to purposely make it tat way.

im jus sayin ppl...if there is a prob..solve it quick...if you come out wit a decision make sure you stick to it...dun sae things you noe you cannot take...arent you plain selfish...if you wanna forsake the frenship...because of the mistakes i sae both of us made...than sho be it...jus be prepared tat things arent gonna be that cheerful when we cross paths...and things wont be tat frenly..i seriously hope...we can put aside our differences and be frens again...seriously...frens..like last time...ferget everythin and be frens..like last time.

like last time...sheesh...lets be a lil more mature about this ya..there are alot of misunderstandings in this...im a person who likes to solve it on the spot..you would rather pretend nothin happens...and still have grudges and issues you keep in..

sheesh...i cant stand it anymore alright...

you noe who im referin too...you noe who you are.no more excuses...dun wanna see me...cause you scared youlll feel awkward...tell me straight..i understand...but you cant run away fer long ah...we cross paths often...same school?sheesh...frens?

2006-10-23T18:05:00.000+08:00

ok....went cyclin like two nights ago i think...was it...yup...cycled frm teck whye to batom to meet the rest..than went to buy batteries for my speaker...plugged in my mp3...put in my bag...than cycled to imm wit the rest...helmi wanted to go to the money changer there to change money...closed..haha...went back...cycled to like west coast ah..the whole time my bike was on like sheesh the gear where it was hard to paddle but goes fast...ahhaha...went to the macs there...wanted to go to the toilet...sheesh...almost walked in wit my speakers blastin can..wahha....after tat...went to the bloody cyclin circuit there...kinda nice...but there was like this obsticle thing where it was high humps la...sheesh...mamat wit his puny stunt bike got through la...but the rest...sheesh...all ended up wit the bikes flyin up our crouch la...hahah...than went to the spiderweb thingy..went up there...hahah...mamat scared siol!wahhahah....than went to the flyin fox thing. wahahha...funny funny...had fun there tired...than cycled to ginza plaza to like stock up on drinks and chips..wahhaha...than cycled back...sat down...drank...eat...than went into the mangroves wit our bikes...haha...first one...like.got couples makin out la...hahha..than u-turn...than went to the one further up...berg hero went first..haaha...cycled in slowly..i behind..suddenly the everyone jam break..hahha...helmi and i look infront..see wat happen...than berg turned ard...than...shout turn turn..faster turn...than lukman also panic la..hahha....his bike try to turn..got stucked between the railings..bloody walkway was fer walkin ma...sho small..hahah....than berg.shout and shout...faster faster..than helmi never turn...both laugh..wahhaha!funny sial...see berg face scared like wat onli..like gonna pee on the pants like tat...kept rammin lukman ask him faster..whahha....cause its like the end...than the trees like drooping down like tat...no lights..than look damn scary mah..haha..dunno how sae la..than uturn..than me and helmi sae go in again..but helmi go in first...than i behind again..than reach the pitch dark place...its like the end wit benches la...than sian already...cycled back...cycled the whole westcoast...leg started to cramp...fergot to change gear...sheesh..overworked ah..than everyone tired...found a place to sit..than slack...wah...muscle cooled down...the cramped regions like very suan ah...like somethin eatin up slowly...fuckin pain...tahan tahan..listen to songs...mamat started to like fuck dance..hahah...'twist' bloody funny la..than berg and man also..hahha...helmi loverboi...talk on fone...onli...than made deal wit me...cause everytime ton wot him sure sleep..sho i sae...u dun sleep one stick la..than basket...onli got one stick than really never sleep...ate mac befer they 'fasst' than i pass him one stick..tat ass...smoke already..than sleep!wah...cow...hahha...by than my legs were like useless...tried to cycle back to batok meet azli....cycle...tried to tahan the pain..wah..reached some traffic light...couldnt take the pain...dropped on the floor...couldnt stand..was like..wah...sheesh...hmmm...berg tompang me...mamat..took my bike along side him..."thanks guys!" yup..if dun have them..wah...die die...should have changed gear earlier...took a cab back to teck whyeput bike back...went to the opp block..my frens place to sleep...ppl who noe..will noe wat i mean..hahha..

woke up...at like 8 plus ah..sheesh!maria called me to go play wit... chrsitine ah...correct not ah..wahahha..than play la..was suppose to meet em at pool factor but close...too a bus frm cck...to timah...take car back to lot 1 to play...sheesh...i didnt noe they were like parked there...smoked first...than opps..went into the car...knew bloody cig stench wld diffuse ard...hais...than went to play pool....went back at one...hmm....gave a bad bad impression...sigh...

woke up todae by siva callin me ask mi go study....go je...

now at his place updatin la...

hmmm...bored....

i have to stand up and fight again...im not goin back into e pit full of shit...i need to be strong now...stand up again and fight...i need support.seriously.im exhausted..and out...i have nothin left in me now...jus tryin..will stand again...will stand..

2006-10-19T15:46:00.000+08:00

haze...sick...thick thick phlegme...soundin like a donkey...*cough*
hmmmm....im tired of the things happenin ard me...one prob followed by another...never seems to cease...tired...of feelin shitty...sho i shall jus try my part...and if the other party doesnt wanna do anythin i cant...sho no use ah...hmmm....its like...hmmm....throwin a watermelon to another person but if the person doesnt wanna catch the bloody melon...splat...
ok stupid comparision..but you all get wat i mean...hmmm...

shall kan kai...

ppl..im not as fierce and scary as i look...jus come up to me and smile ya...and say hi..i will to...=)

im tired tat things jus keep happenin...ppl sae and do or in some cases ignore...and not do anythin.empty promises..which hurt...forgive and forget...i can...but wounds take time to heal right...i sound like a i dunno la... but i have feelings...

im a very unhappy angry person inside...all pinned down inside...controllin..ready to blow anytime...and i feel real shitty...furious when theres nothin to be angry bout...sad and depressed whereever i go.but puttin up a false front and crappin.masks up and smile but i dun feel like it.and tat makes me feel worse actin.sho ppl will stop askin.i dun like to share my shit any oh how.its my probs...ill solve it.i dun wanna drag ppl down into my misery.sometimes i call ppl to talk..its jus tat im feelin shitty...and wanna talk to get my mind of things..and not think bout stuff fer a while..smile ppl and be glad you have a 'home' to be with...no matter how hard it is there...be grateful...without ur family you wont be where you are now....its time to patch up the broken parts...i want to be happy again..'be more me' like someone once told me.smilin and enjoyin..laughin and filled wit pure joy...and happiness.problems i cant escape but one thing i can do is face them..break them down solve it and smile..life is life...i have to adapt...the world doesnt revolve and bow down to me..i want to be more like me.happy cheerful and up and jumpin...like i used to...ppl can tie me down...but ill stand....wit GOD by my side...

ive stood tall...i had everythin...it was taken away..in a blink of an eye...poof...nothin...

i dropped flat on the floor...jus lyin there...ppl stepped all over me... i took it...

im tied down...

i care.

i wan to break free stand up and fight again...

shall not fear anymore..

i am who i am..

ANGKAT!!!!!KUAT KUAT!

tired.

2006-10-17T11:53:00.000+08:00

yes ppl...im super tired..match on sat...followed by training on mondae...after sho long.suddenly intensive...has taken me out...my whole body is practically sore...my ass feels sho tight...but actually its jus cramped up...

new coach..englands u18 nationals...boxer...sheesh..tall and big..you should see him man...really big...when he pumped the balls...his chest goes...up down up down..

new coach fixed 4 friendlies....durin the hols and a match against RI beginnin next yr...sheesh...new team...u14 comin up...new hopes i guess...jus hope they train seriously now....

i noe...ive disappointed you and the family...i noe...i noe...i could have gone to the express stream...i noe tat i could have made the family more peaceful...without my nonsense...but all tat i have done was jus a simple cry out to you tat your son isnt wat he seems to be...he feels unlovable...alone and angry....im sorry. i decided to change when i was in sec 2...my grades when up...i worked hard in cca too...and other activities....fer wat?they were never fer myself...its sho tat youll notice and be proud of me...fer once....atleast if im not as lovable as my sis and bro...be proud..but youre not.when i lost it all...when teachers and frens took away this oppurtunity fer me to break out and make you all proud...i didnt noe wat to do next...my grades were up there...still you still shunned....and didnt care...keep scoldin me sayin tat i not touch my books...i played rugby...why...cause of you...cause i once heard u talkin to Godpa how much you wanted one of ur sons to play...sho i tagged along in RI.when you coach...set up a team in my sch...till now i play...but wat you sae to me..i guess im the outcast...the accident..like once mama told me...tat you guys didnt intend to to have me...sho im sorry im me...bringin all the pain and anguish to the family...although i tried as hard..it was never enough...blacksheep..lookin at my siblings who sleep in nice bedrooms and furnished.. i stay in a abandoned office room wit a matress on the floor...im sorry.

2006-10-12T14:00:00.000+08:00

cigarettes plus lighter=puffs of smoke to get my mind of things= wh(y)?
wh(y)=stress.frustration.regret.accusations.lone.
anger.sorrow.pain->shut in.=breakin pnt.shitty attitude.crankiness.
feelin shitty.

ok..im jus feelin shitty.jus fucked up bout things ard me.i decided to spill it out...but there wasnt anyone to let me.i didnt noe who to?ok..it was late.everyone was sleepin.guess shuttin it in like usual is the best la.jus hope things will blow over and everythings starts anew.

ok ppl yup....this sat there's a RUGBY match against JJC!!!!

sho bloody come support la k!!!!!

sheesh!

police acd thomson rd!9am kick off!im kickin...sho come!wahahha!

i noe its bloody early.but wth!jus come ya...no sch...week ends!come on!everytime bloody play..no one come support!sheesh!

oh ya...its BBSS alumni against jjc!

yawns..

2006-10-07T14:28:00.000+08:00

i understand.

2006-10-04T18:15:00.000+08:00

woke up tat morn.

went off to the market area which is half a hour away.ulu tampines. to get flu med.and stuff.

market couldnt find.one bloody hour walk walk.cannot find.

took another bus to a 7 eleven near by.bought cough and cold lozenges.and panadol.

fergot gan mao cha.

took bus back buy...market..sheesh.

went back to find bag.nicer lookin one.

bus back to mrt.half hour again.

took train down frm tampines to batok. 1+hour.

messaged..nothin.

bought w.p. and yakult.

wait.4+-7..zzzz..called called..nothin.

still not up.at least restin.w.p.became cold..yakult warm.

left.than message came..-.-

half way back tampines.got off the train.decided to go back.cause was feelin sick right?

ran down.practically.hopped on to a cab..14 dollars...reached...

gave=)

smilin=)

got back to tampines.felt sick myself..dropped dead.tirin dae. tat dae.

hope feelin better bah..=/

yup...

pass few daes...sheesh..sigh..

i prefer weekends...i hope i didnt sae anythin wrong=/

ppl...tryin to mix butter and oreo...without a blender...dun try...super tirin....
mixed mixed..

yawn.sigh..SORRY~

2006-10-01T15:18:00.000+08:00

dun worry bout me spendin money..you jus get better.=)

2006-09-28T20:33:00.001+08:00

really off and my head is in a mess.frustrated..adn im gona blow.bein accused of sho many things..and i cant do anythin.argh..i feel like jus breakin things.

ok im sorry fer all the shit...maybe its really jus me...but ya...i jus miss the times alright...i miss you.bein there.there i said it=/..tats why i feel all shitty bout stuff...tat im bein brushed off in a way..and ignored...hmmm...i was jus hopin if you really ya...didnt want to be distracted or anythin.and you really wanna score gd grades..could at least tell me or somethin?i suppose..rather than ignorin.cause i feel like.crap and its kinda frustratin..but if its me bein pain stakin and shit....ya..tell me atleast...sho i wont be half danglin.and all..and atleast i have a definite answer to live wit.im sorry...but ya..sigh=/i hope.sigh.ya i noe...tat i dun mean as much maybe nothin to you.as you to me.hmm..sigh.

2006-09-26T23:35:00.000+08:00

gone.broken.penniless.hungry and really sick.been lyin and keepin stuff from ppl i really care about alot.been tryin to joke and pretend everythin is ok and im ok. sho ppl wont worry.hope u ppl understand.sorry.

im dyin...sufferin..physically exhausted and tired and sick.need rest.and you.

if you dunno.you make me smile in these times.thanks.although you have been busy.i appreciate you squeezin time out to entertain me.maybe you dun care.but i do.about u.i dunno why but i do.and i miss the times.maybe even jus talkin.where everythin was alright.and things were not always busy i guess and cold.hmm.maybe things didnt mean anytin to you.i hope it did. it did..alot..fer me.even till now.

ppl..take care while im gone.Lord help me please.i place everythin in your hands.

i cry i cry fer help.exhausted.in and out.

im out of your house..happy now? i fucked out of the house..goin to hell...happy?

but one thing is tat.i cared bout the family..i always did..dun sae i dun...dun you dare sae tat.

2006-09-23T16:42:00.000+08:00

you sae im the first in ur family to fail two sub in pri sch.the first to touch a cigarette in your families generations..shame me and put me down infront of Godpa and Godma...a disgrace to you..you didnt talk to me cause i got into na..and when you do..you accuse me of neglectin me studies.you threaten me youll break my bones if you have to..kill me thenbut ill not strike back...fuck..look at my studies alright..you sae i always hang out wit gangsters and all..you sae im trouble...never ever once proud of wat i achieved...all tat ive achieved were not fer me...it was sho fer once you will be proud..but no..you dun give a shit..and best jus sae...like tat?

you've been a good father..i dunno how to appreciate.im not a good son enough. a lousy son...always...maybe i should really go to hell..like you screamed in my faced in the morn..ask me to get out off the house..im out...

to you im a disgrace to the family...nvm...but im proud tat you are my father..

i jus have feelings alright if you didnt noe.

im sick...again.

2006-09-23T00:12:00.000+08:00

heaty...keep havin nosebleeds..than after nose bleed...super giddy.sigh...fever comin on...sigh..

my kneecap is actin up again after soccer...couldnt walk proper in sch todae.really pain..old injury up again..

pulled my groin muscle too..slide but stretched one leg onli..cannot really walk much..or shift left or right..front or lift.argh..sittin down strains he bloody muscle..its like a knife cuttin through whenever i move or sit or stand...my knee is like gonna give way soon...sigh..

2006-09-21T12:12:00.000+08:00

match later..5 at 7 eleven field near sch...against some MI team...argh..fer sure ill cock up man..

anythin!beat only!

-.-"padi padi..wahhahaa...=D

bloody nose bleed todae man..woke up from my sleep in class...than drip drip...
on my shirt..fish...giddy..too heaty...sigh.

2006-09-19T19:26:00.000+08:00

everythin i did..or said..or thought.is cause i care.believe it if you want to..but i do.

thank you fer bein you.i wan to noe.cause i care.

i ask.cause i care.

smile.smile alright.

2006-09-19T12:08:00.000+08:00

hmmm...took a cab home...didnt sleep much last night...jus on the bed thinkin.why..

im tellin u..im nt gonna loose this...not gonna loose somethin sho beautiful.which jus makes me smile..and i haven done tat...genuinely fer a long long time...

Lord i jus placed this in ur hands..fer i know tat in u i have the right nt to worry..

2006-09-18T16:26:00.000+08:00

yawn.tired.math math.argh.

a lil massage would br nice..hehe

2006-09-16T17:20:00.000+08:00

vrooom!
joey?sheng jie!
benji benji..tsk tsk..

2006-09-16T16:58:00.000+08:00

tasvita!told you right!thank me!see its gopi!
is this maria admittin..sho sweet!
he was singin..mr mazlee shut him up
'ann khay only'eh hey!it fits the pic on top la!
aww~aisah..your babyboi sleepin~
wahahhaha!
aisah...macham macham ah
my handsome zhi ping!
wrong order!
sachok means sachok ppl.
where?
whoots!
miss ngiam's fav
ultimate cuteness~aww~

2006-09-16T15:03:00.000+08:00

hungry hungry...

2006-09-15T21:53:00.000+08:00

bein ignored?avoided?hmm.....

fuck.

2006-09-14T18:33:00.000+08:00

hope ur day was fine..hope you cheered up.hope things are fine..and youre happier now..

sacrifice?worth it?hmm..i wish i didnt even have to.

hmm...you promised ya..smile.

not even talkin now..hmm..guess all tats past and said is jus unsignificant.said things to me fer the sake of it.maybe?i dunno..i hope not..i hope a miracle will happen..and things willbe gd..yup.

i never blamed anyone..im not angry wit anyone.

i onli can blame...blame myself...fer lettin things turn out like tat...im useless now..i cant do anythin.stuck.

i dun wanna be selfish although its wat i wan..i have to think about how youll feel and wat position youll be in and how youll feel...and i dun wanna cause anymore crap.im ready though to face shit...i think youll rather not face them huh..'dunno wat you wan'..jus be sure you dun regret anythin ya.regret not doin anythin or regret doin it..hmm..smile..smile big..ill still be here though if you need to talk to someone about stuff when youre down.

bloody migrane is killin me..and theres nothin at home to eat!suppose to take my fuck med after food though..WHO CARES!!!if i get shit gastric later...i dun care!MY HEAD IS GONNA BURST!!
hope things get easier and better..its suppose to make me stop how im feelin...but its goin the other way.hmm..at least its easier fer you now.atleast youre happier.
its killin me!fuck!

requested

2006-09-14T17:40:00.000+08:00

heavenly tree+guys sent frm heaven
retard
plus e gerls
homebois
sachoks

havin this really thumpin and bloody throbbin headache..sigh.

jus waitin.hopin my fone will ring.

hmm.

migrane.

2006-09-14T13:35:00.000+08:00

headache~

hope everythin works out soon.be urself.dun regret doin or not doin anythin ya..take good care.=)

2006-09-12T22:09:00.000+08:00

have you actually thought tat...maybe..when you open ur trap you actually cause more probs fer urself and the ppl ard you...sometimes..you can jus shut ur trap..think befer you open it..whether it helps or causes shit..jus shutup alright..

im not enjoyin anythin...

not enjoyin how things are..and why things have to be like tat..

sacrifice?

again?

im tired.

i must always sacrifice shit..and its still my fault..

ive never done things tat had benifitted me..especially now..

fuck..

argh...

why must i have to do this..go through this again...especially this time when everythin is jus right and perfect..ah..jus screw..
im tired..

i felt bad..sorry ms ngiam and ms koe...jus caught me in the wrong time.

2006-09-11T15:56:00.000+08:00

ya...i lie... i lied to you...i lied to everyone...is everyone happy now?it has never been about me... regrets.yes.but sometimes you have to look infront and see whether things will be more sufferin...and toleration and accomadation..will things be happier or will it be worse...i noe fer sure tat i cant...i cant and i will make you suffer more than wat youre goin through...sho its always me hurtin ppl huh...and me the ass hole...if tats it..if tats the way you wanna think selfishly..than i cant stop you..but i wanna make things clear to everyone...all my decisions..my actions and my words..are never bout me...or fer my good...i suffer through also...jus tat i shut up...sho dun take advantage and push everythin to me alright..im not scoldin anyone...but im jus dun wan to be accused of bein a ass..

fuck.

im sorry...happy ppl?its my fault..i take the blame ok..

me...again..

all this and i get blamed?fuck.

2006-09-11T15:42:00.000+08:00

ppl..please dun fuck ard wit me now...i seriously hope tat if its really not ur shit..and it doesnt affect you directly...jus fuck off and dun talk sho much la ok....i cannot stand you especially already...dun come talk to me like we are ten year good frens...cause the sight of ur face makes me wanna slap it sho hard...dun think you got ppl kao you biggy already la huh...dun talk to others bout me like you noe me inside out and tell ppl im this and tat...cause you dun noe shit.you think you noe everythin bout everyone right..dun think you bloody smart alright...youve been an extra always..and ppl dun like it..but they jus shut up...cause they sae..'youre like tat one' bloody fuck wake up la..if its not ur prob..and no one asked you fer help..or dun wan you to noe...dun be 'nice' and think you can help.and call this call tat..unless they ask you fer help.bloody te kah.you see private things..jus shut up and dun gossip la and spread you grandfather or mother stories ya...im sure you dunno tat im referin to you...but the ppl ard you will noe.sho ya...fuck off and shut up...this doesnt concern you alright...fer me im ok...have a thought fer ur fren alright...aiya..jus fuck off befer i say it to ur face..

2006-09-10T14:35:00.000+08:00

eh...this sec three wan la.
monkeys...cute ones.
mixed?
whoops!
aww!
whoots!zal!
chicken anyone?
muscle bros
jus some new pics.
bbq 1st sep.